Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Great Day for a Cancer Survivor

Some background information
I am in the best mood today. I'm a lung cancer survivor of eight years this coming St. Patrick's Day.  I get cat scans every six months unless they see something that looks suspicious. I have had my share of 'ify' scans that show spots, but thankfully they have always disappeared by the time of my follow-up scan. Not long ago, a scan revealed four spots on my right lung which is the same lung that had a tumor. It was a really scary time for me, to say the least. I prayed, cried and hoped it wasn't the lung cancer coming back. This past June was when I went in for the follow-up scan. It was one of few times I brought my sister with me. We needed to be together to support each other in case we received bad news. We were grateful to learn that all four spots were gone. Sis and I celebrated by doing the 'happy dance' as the great news was announced. My oncologist said since I was almost eight years cancer free, I could choose whether to come back in six months or one year. I chose to come back in six months just to be safe. We agreed that if this scan was clear, I would graduate to yearly scans. 
Had my scan yesterday
I'm always a nervous wreck the week of my cat scans because I never know what it's gonna show. Facing your mortality is one of the things you learn to deal with when your a cancer survivor. As scary as it can be, it also gives you a rare insight into how to live every day to it's fullest. Anyway, I had the scan at 8:20AM yesterday. Afterwards, sis and I went out for breakfast as a courage builder. Knowing I have to wait for two days to see the oncologist with the results, is always a tough thing for me. Basically, I don't sleep much until that appointment is over. I was given such a gift when I heard the phone ring a few hours later. "Hi Linda, this is Nicole from Park Nicollet. Your oncologist knows how worried you get after a scan and asked me to call and let you know that everything looks great." I was so grateful that they decided to give me this call and save me from myself and my thoughts. I thanked her profusely and told her, "you just made my day-God Bless you." I go in tomorrow morning for my appointment with the oncologist, but this time I wont have to go in there scared to death. Because of that call, I will sleep like a baby tonight. I'm sure the biggest message to me will be that I've graduated to yearly scans.  YIPPEE! I am so grateful and  happy.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

No more...

Your false ideas of love
cut deep within my flesh

Leaving scars beyond repair
my heart's a broken mess

The times that I believed you
when you uttered all the lies

Left me dead like washed up seaweed
alone with just my cries

Promises you made to me
whispered in the night

Made me want to trust you
convinced me it was right

Truth turned inside out
was all you knew to give

Like vampire's food of choice
deceit; your blood to live

I'll no longer be your conduit
for evil to the core

My soul desires happiness
and love forever more...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

My Superwoman Dream

I have always been a big dreamer since I was a young child. Most mornings I can remember at least ten vivid dreams. Let me give you a little peek into my active dream life by sharing one of many, from last night.

Channel Nine News Reporter Dream
Before I begin telling you about my dream, I need to preface it with some information. The last couple of days in Minnesota have been a mixed bag of strange weather. It went back and forth between raining, sleeting and snowing. I am an avid watcher of the local news and have my favorite stations. Most of the time I watch channel nine and the reporters and anchors feel like part of my family. The other day when they were talking about the developing weather storm, they sent one of their reporters out in a car. I felt kind of bad for the guy as he was driving around telling us how dangerous it was getting on the roads.  Enough information, here's my dream:
I'm a roving reporter for Channel nine (hee hee) and driving my car to do a segment about the status of the winter storm that's just begun.  My co-pilot in the passenger seat is none other than Jeff Passolt. Jeff is our local, well known anchor in real life, for channel nine. Anyway, Jeff and I are driving around when we suddenly hit a slick spot in the road. The car becomes air born and I'm thinking, "this isn't good and I don't want Jeff to get hurt." I make a plan in my head that will save my co-worker and myself from impending death. I roll my window down before we make impact. When the car is just ready to land on the road, I put my arms out of the window. I'm obviously hanging upside down and drop my hands to the ground to hold the car up. I'm like Superwoman as I patiently steady the car until Jeff gets out. Once I crawl out, Jeff starts asking me how I managed to have the superhuman strength to bench a car like it was a paper weight . I humbly retort that it must have been the fight or flight reaction of adrenaline. He stares at me; eyes wide with awe and says, "are you in any pain?" I reply, "my arms are a little sore and my back is probably going to kill me later, but other than that, I'm good." Jeff and I, for the most part, come out of the car accident unscathed because I'm like some kind of superhero.