Friday, February 25, 2011

Is that guy flirting with me?

It started as a typical week day for me. My alarm clock woke me from my slumber with some smooth jazz. I got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair but decided there was no need for make-up or any other beauty enhancements. I grabbed a blueberry cereal bar, slugged down an icy cold glass of milk and was out the door. I dropped Laura off at work at about 8:30AM and as I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed the gas gauge. The car was literally running on fumes. Thankfully there is a Holiday Gas Station one block from Laura's work place.
This is where an innocent trip to the gas station, gets interesting...
I got out of my car and started pumping gas. Have you ever had that feeling like someone is watching you? I started looking around the crowded gas station parking lot. HMMM, maybe I'm just a little off today. Just as I put the gas hose back in it's holder, there it was. Someone was staring at me. It was a very handsome gentleman around my age. He smiled and waved at me. He was sitting high up in a very nice "all- boy" kind of truck. I thought to myself, "Is he looking at me or is it the person at the gas pump behind me." I came up with many scenarios of what else he could be looking at besides me. Then I started worrying that if he was looking at me, it was because I did something wrong, like cut him off in this small parking lot, or perhaps, took the gas pump he was going for. I started making my way to the front door of the Holiday Station. Before paying the attendant, I took a little detour to the ladies room. I guess I had too much milk for breakfast. Walking out of the bathroom and down the canned goods isle, I nearly bumped right into him. It was the man that may or may not have been staring at me. He looked at me and gave me a really warm smile and kind hello. I reciprocated but continued walking towards the front of the store to pay the cashier. Now my mind was racing and asking many questions, like, "wasn't he on his way out of the parking lot?" "Is this a coincidence that he came back in the store and down the same aisle?" "Maybe he forgot to buy something the first time." I was now at the front paying for my gas and he appeared once again. He waved and flashed those pearly whites at me and was out the door. "Don't look out the door Linda, you'll look like a freak" I thought to myself, but I couldn't help it. I tried to be discreet as I peeked around the door. To my embarrassment, he had turned around as he walked to his truck to see if I would look. He waved and smiled. I said my goodbyes to the cashier and knew I had to go out to my car sometime. I rushed to my car, put the key in the ignition and looked around. He was now parked even closer to my car and gave me another smile and wave. He gave me a finger point to show me which way he was heading. I waited for him to pull out and then made my escape in the opposite direction. I was talking and laughing out loud on my way home, realizing I had been flirted with, at a gas station. I actually think he believed I may follow him to his destination. Maybe he was thinking of meeting up at a safe place like Caribou Coffe, unless he was an axe murderer and hoping I'd follow him to his isolated cabin. I prefer to think this handsome gentleman only had the best of intentions. A woman can dream can't she? No matter what this guy was all about, I have a great story to share and I must say, it felt really good having a man go to so much trouble to make sure I noticed he was flirting with me.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Dream that Prepared Me for Dad's Death

My Big Dream

Dreams have always been a big part of my life. They give me answers to my current and past struggles, they help me work through grief when I have lost a loved-one and they entertain me in my night life. The dream I am writing about in this hub is one that helped me prepare for my father's death. Dad had been sick for some time with emphysemia and I was having trouble coming to terms with his impending death from this disease. Here is my dream:

I'm over at dad's apartment watching t.v. I hear a noise coming from the kitchen and run to see what's going on. Dad is using his hands and pointing to his throat. It's obvious to me that dad is gasping for air and will die if I don't do something. I call 911 but something is wrong with the phone, so I pick dad up in my arms and put him in the car. I speed to the hospital but keep my eye on dad as he is fighting for air. I am so scared but keep telling him that everything will be alright. I eventually get him to the hospital. I am holding dad in my arms running through the hospital. I am running down a very long and dark tunnel. I keep repeating to dad that everything will be ok and I will get him help. As I'm running to get help and holding him in my arms, I am calling my family of four siblings. I am screaming and crying and asking them to come to the hospital because I think dad is dying. Each sibling I talked to, blew me off and had better things to do than worry about dad and this situation. I was so hurt for dad and very angry that they didn't seem to care. I keep searching for a doctor as I'm running down the hallway and hoping I will see one in time to save my dad. I eventually see a doctor in blue scrubs and beg and scream for him to help my dad. The doctor says there is nothing he can do, even though he hasn't even checked him out. I feel so alone and scared because noone seems to listen or care. I look down at dad after the doctor leaves us, and he is dead. The grief is more than I can bear as I sit on the floor, holding my dear father in my arms. Tears stream down my face and fall on dad as I cry out in sheer pain and sadness.

I woke up from the dream and ran into dad's room crying. I was staying with him at the time, due to his illness. I sat on the bed next to him and told him about the unsettling dream. In his calm, loving, dad voice, he told me that it was time to start preparing myself with his declining health and impending death. I just cried in his arms and told him how much I loved him. He knew I was in denial about how sick he was and gently gave me permission to accept it.

This dream also highlighted the fact that I was the primary child, out of five siblings, helping dad out, during his illness. I heard many excuses why my sisters and brothers couldn't help me. The excuses I heard the most were: "I'm married with kids and just don't have the time," "Your single, so you have more time on your hands." The number one excuse I heard during those difficult days, always involved using the spouse as the scape goat.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Five Layer Mexican Bean Dip

Hi Everyone-Thought I would share a great appetizer that is perfect for a Superbowl Party. This recipe is a favorite with my friends and family and I hope you'll enjoy it.
Sis and I are kidless this weekend so it wont be quite as noisy here at game time. The dogs will watch the game from their favorite couch while Laura and I stretch out on our respective recliners. 

Laura and I are having a buffet of our favorite finger foods, including the dip pictured above. We will graze at the buffet on and off throughout the game. Here is the menu: Cocktail Wieners, Celery stuffed with Cream Cheese, 5-Layer Mexican Bean Dip and Guacamole Dip, Tortilla Chips, Pickles, Black and Green Olives. Have a wonderful Game Day however and wherever you choose to watch it.

8 Ounces Sour Cream
1 Can Refried Black Beans
1 Small Can of Bean Dip
1/2 Package of Taco Seasoning
Garlic Powder
1 TBSP Chili Powder
1/2 TSP Ground Cumin
1 Cup Shredded Cheese
3 Green Onions Sliced
1/3 Cup Sliced Black Olives
1 Tomatoe Chopped
Shredded Lettuce
Mix sour cream, bean dip, chili powder, cumin and taco seasoning in bowl
Spread dip evenly onto bottom of a serving platter
Top with layers of remaining ingredients
Refrigerate dip until chilled
Serve with tortilla chips